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The Whether Channel

“Today’s forecast is looking good folks! We have sunny skies with light cloud cover, followed by patches of what looks like small gusts, popping up periodically; nothing to cancel the cookout over folks, we may have a few showers stroll through in the evening, nothing to worry about, by the time that happens, if at all, everyone should be cozy in bed; unless you all nighters are looking for an extended grace of good weather throughout the night and into tomorrow, it looks like we have some patchy hail, like I said folks, nothing too serious, just some bands showing up on the super ultra doppelganger ranger radar, we should have another fine day; but watch out folks, according to our state of the art, groundbreaking radar technology and the seasoned techniques of our meteorology team, with a combined experience of over eighty years, on the job; it says we have tornado warnings and spikes in humidity in most of our area for the week, may want to check back with us every chance you get; we’re on at five, seven, six, four, eleven, ten, nine central and, let me just tell you folks, boy do we have some time saving advice, this morning; you may want to carry an umbrella, it looks like rain folks; I, see, I was down there in the lab studying the latest feeds from our super mega radar technology and, folks, you would not believe the readings; we’ve got uv indexes reaching record highs and tides at all time lows, it seems we have a system out in international waters developing, looking nasty already, I have been doing this a long time folks, and let me tell you, coastal flooding looks like a concern, you might want to stay indoors for the next few days; with the dew point at levels where it should be and the flocculation of the jet streams out there; well let me just put it this way, bread, toilet paper and milk people; you are going to look for the clouds to start to thin out by midweek; go ahead and rent that sail boat, you owe yourself, it looks like glass out there on this wonderful, grey, bashful morning; as the week goes on, you can look out for some vagrant, stray, but strong strips of clouds as they move on out and, wait; this just in, we have a live update from super duper dapper dot reflex number six; well, good news, you can get those beach towels and sunscreens, because we will have the sun for a few more days, luckily we can receive these spot-on updates from our crew using our latest breakthroughs in the industry to bring you fast, informative updates as they happen in real time from our experts in the field; the wind can’t whisper without our guys tracking it to the ends of the earth, so you can hear it first, folks; while temperatures are sure to fluctuate, your northern areas are going to remain cooler, while your lower lying areas and as you get closer to the equator, they are going to be a bit warmer and wetter than usual today; you may want to bring all the water you can carry to get you mail this , fine morning in the eye of this storm we’ve been tracking since things were slow here on set; it’s, it looks like, it’s showing a category eleven hurricane out there somewhere and we are just dying to name it; last year we had boring names no one ever uses anymore, this year we decided to go with something a little more, let’s just say traditional folks; this year we’ve got hurricane Buck, he’s a bucking, folks; we went with names of uncles who were cooler than Dad; Jan, backstage, she won this year so; hurricane Buck is on a rampage, folks, we have high winds and mixed with the increased precipitation, that makes for some pretty dangerous flooding, you may want to take some of that vacation time you have been saving, it doesn’t look like old Buck is backing up; we are right in the center of his pathway in all projected models, according to our team, working round the clock, with the greatest technology man has ever created; feel safe with us , folks, you might want to tune in for our complete forecast thread from your super news channel app on your phone; with all of this technology, we will certainly be there to let you know when to plan the picnics and carry your raincoat; we have been serving you the best forecast updates, so you can feel better about the day, all day, no matter the weather; just be on the lookout for that drop in temps to bring a little low pressure in and just be careful out there, your safety is important, don’t miss a single chance to catch our real-time, systematic update system; other than that, it looks like you can dust off that apron and go gas up the grill, we have a killer weekend ahead; you really can’t ask for better than what we have lined up; take a breath as you into Monday, as we have that special forecast coming up, right after these; you know, when we pick the weather folks; I’ll let you know a few tips on how to keep those pesky droplets of sweat from coming out of your skin; all that and more; after this; see you then; we will keep the weather under control, until you get back; enjoy a word from our sponsors; UNITY!”

“What’s the weather going to be like? You get the weather?”

“I’ll check…..”

*chirping birds*

“Yeah, we’re good! Tell everybody to come.”

The Weathered Channel by Fartfist at 12

Published by Fartfist

I am personally a personal personality for a personable person using this persona.

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