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Red Eye Gravy And Smashed Potatoes

“Git from over there! Go on o’er yonder!”

“Here, hand me that there…the coffee pot!”

“What’chall havin’!?”

“Naw, yaint… I’ma make y’all suh’m…hang on…”

“Y’all got ham!? ‘Bout some salt ‘n some pepper!?”

“I see them taters o’er yonder…”

“Naw, dont’chu….you better not peel them dern puh-taters!”

“That’s wheres… alls the ju ju’s at!”

“I got this ol’ recipe from…well, shit; hell I doan know wheres!”

“Y’all gon love this here!”

“I’ma shows ya! I’ll learn ya hows its done!”

“Fff, eh uh, naw; First, you gotta have some sense!”

“Sense ‘nuff ta keep flour and all in the house.”

“Den, I teyya what…jes…yea, jes gimme dat!”

“Here, ya gotta chop that there ham up, real good now!”

“Go on and put…hey, wheres y’all’s butter at??”

“Yeah well, go on! Shit, you gon need ‘bout a quarter stick, hear?”

“That there pan is hot, bouah! Go on and get that butter on in there!”

“I ain’t got all day, shit!”

“Hell’s sah’matta wich’all junior flip, ol’ baby bloods, these days!?”

“I’ma need you to pay the hell attention and get that there ham on in there withat butter, fore it goes on and burns up, on ya!”

“Wheresat salt at, y’all?”

“Go on and wave ya hand over that bad bouah with a lillte that salt ‘chu got…’n some pepper up that joker too!”

“Eh! Somebuddy get them taters washed up and in the pot; doan’chu fergit ta salt that one! You gotta go ‘bout a palm fer e’ry two uh them suckers.”

“AAAaaaat! Get’cher hans outta that ham!”

“Go on an’ get me some lemon ‘er some lemon juice ‘n them lil’ bottles that look like a lemon!”

“Theys some shit ain’t they!?”

“Go on and squirt squirt me some uh that on in the taters, will ya?”

“Go on and thow another quarter stick uh fat in ‘m taters too!”

“Hey, watch it now, you gotta cook that hams, chaint gotta kill ‘em, they dead already, jack!”

“Now I taught’chall how ta make gravy, now dinn’I?”

“Go on and get’cher cup or what’chall got?”

“Yeah, now spoon up some uh that there ham and grease, with some salt ‘n pep in there and yo’ step!”

“Get ‘bout two spoons uh flour in that cup; aight…”

“Go on now! That pan is getting’ ta shit!”

“Now whip the ever livin’ shit outta that mix in there, in that cup!”

“Naw; hold on now, hold on, now… I ain’t tell ya to use that there old, cold coffee there, ‘steada water or milk an all!!!”

“Yeah, that’s okay now; whip that mix on up and thow in some ol’ garlic powder an’ onion powder!”

“Well, why and the hell ain’t nobody tell me y’all ain’t have no dern onion powder an’ all!?”

“Sheeeei… that ain’t no problem, I see that fresh one y’all got.”

“Shoulda said suh’m an’ we coulda had that all chopped up in the pan, getting’ all jellified!”

“Naw, ain’t too late; go on!”

“Jes mix that shit on up and thow it in there an’ work them little burny bits ona bottom uh’da pan, there!”

“ Don’slack up! You gotta make that gravy all smooth; work that spoon on in there, like yer doin’ suh’m that’cha give a dern ‘bout!”

“Them taters soft on up yet?”

“Why don’chu go on and smash them all up fer me!?”

“Thow some mo’ butter up in there and jessa splasha milk.”

“Beat the tar out them ol’ taters too!”

“Here, watch this here pan fer me squirt; I’ma go on and fix ‘em biscuits…”

“I already done showed y’all how ta sratch up some tack!”

“Stir that gravy, now…what’chu lookin’ all lost fer?”

“ Naw, go on an’ fix me a plate, harry on up; Y’all seen Fisty!?”

“Jes waita while there; you will.”

“Naw, it looks ‘bout ready; y’all readya eachet!?”

“…Yer outta OJ…”

“That jes ain’t no dern good…”

…I smell divinity! by Fartfist


Published by Fartfist

I am personally a personal personality for a personable person using this persona.

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