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Stuff, Inside A Pepper

There is a creation of excellence; humans call it “Stuffed Peppers”.

I call it magnificence.

Okay, I call it stuffed peppers too. I could name it, but really it would still retain it’s composition and description.

I have emulated the glorious pepper, stuffed!

In this scroll, you shall be aware of…

Fartfist’s Stuffed Pepper Technique!

Here are your formal lists, as desired:

  • Two fists of ground meat, mostly lean…rough ninety/ten ratio if you grind your own (or vegetables with similar consistency).
    • Beef and pork work well together and one their own.
    • Mixtures containing wild game and cow fat work extraordinarily well.
    • Ground fowl is foul. (Who in their right mind prefers ground ANYTHING! Especially turkey and chicken… these creatures do well with little effort involved and taste better in the state they were created! I’ll also add that bird decomposes at incredibly faster rates than mammal meat…Once ground, it exposes ALL of its surfaces to the air; providing an excellent environment for bacteria. That better be a fresh fowl! [if you didn’t name the bird you grind, save your health, don’t waste your time.] )
  • Two large bell peppers.
    • Green for savory
    • Red/Yellow/Orange for sweet
  • One palm salt; one palm ground peppercorns.
  • Two large cloves of garlic (pulverized to pulp).
  • One half of a refrigerated onion (minced).
  • Two pinches of oregano.
  • Two large whole white mushrooms (washed, but with stem intact).
  • Two fists of rice.
  • Two and a half fists of chicken broth.
  • Six over ripe, whole, peeled, stewed tomatoes; mashed, chopped, diced, minced and crushed like they tried to bite you. (stewed with a pinch of basil, salt and sugar)
  • One fist of Parmesan grated or crumbled.
  • Two large chunks of whole milk mozzarella. (about a fist worth, collectively.)
  • One egg of chicken.
  • One pinch of cornmeal/flour mixed.
  • Someone to share with….maybe. (depends on a sliding spectrum of hunger, measured against one’s threshold of tolerance for social interactions.)

List number two; Equipment requirements:

  • One object resembling a baking sheet.
  • One object resembling a casserole dish, in which two handsome peppers may bathe in reasonable comfort with a modest amount of distancing between them.
  • One mixing bowl large enough to contain list components.
  • One sharp knife and cutting surface.
  • One grain of self confidence or at least one hour exposed to basic operation of kitchen equipment and procedures.
  • One aforementioned equipment/appliance; an oven.
  • You can eat and mix it with your hands and feet, for all I care!
  • The willpower to get it done. Your way.

To start, you will need to prepare the fillings.

Precook and refrigerate your rice with minimal salt and a minced half of that onion half listed, using your chicken broth; firm.

Slice just the tops of the peppers you’ve chosen; make sure you pick ones that can stand on their own (with evenly developed “feeties”). Reach in and gut the “sinew” and seed. Cut the crown bits around the stem away and save these pieces. Put that in your compost (or yell and throw it at the goat.). By that, I mean the innards; NOT the topped pepper and pepper pieces from around the stem. Wash and put aside in a cool place. By goat, I mean; I’m sure there’s a kid (that’s what some folks call goats!) running around somewhere!(Irony is an old friend!)

Insert following ingredients into mixing bowl in whatever order suits you:

Meat (or veggie jargon)

The other half of the half of onion

Both prepped garlic cloves

The oregano

The corn/flour pinch

The noble chicken’s egg

One pinch of the parm

One pinch of the mozz, chopped

One small scoop of stewed and smashed tomato

The salt and ground peppercorns

The pepper minces from around the stems

Now you mix these bowled ingredients! Careful not to mix to thoroughly; this is not a loaf of meat, mind you! You want the mixture to be slightly crumbly and curdy for the distinction of flavor.

Now preheat the oven to medium-low heat. Degrees are not as important as airflow and spacing; you will prefer a “low and slow” method to ensure a proper, thorough bake.

Stand your pepper carcasses and begin stuffing.

This is where order of “stuff” becomes crucial. Start with the rice. Divide your rice in equal halves; if your fist is proportionate to your pepper, it should be one quarter to halfway filled by now. If not, you’ll remember that next time! Use a palm of your mozzarella and parmesan; chop it and place it in next. You should have a good amount of cheeses left. Now, mold one fist of mixture around one whole mushroom; do this with precision and then shove it in on top of the cheese. Your pepper should now have a very small bulge or muffin top. Place it in the center of your oven for enough time it takes to fill the room with it’s aroma. Now inspect; does it need de-greasing? You make that determination at this point. Then take your stewed tomato mixture and pour it in your pan, with the peppers, ensuring they get some on top and around, even if you have to spoon it up there and hill it up. Place it back in center of the oven until the peppers start to get dark and wrinkled. Now is your chance to add remaining cheeses, starting with the parmesan and still making certain the tomatoes and sauce are present, under the fresh blanket of cheeses. This will bake until the cheeses are rolling down the sides of Mr/Mrs/Miss/…Dr pepper and are browning slightly.

This will yield one pepper for two or two for one!

With effort and imagination; you are now prepared to defend yourself against your tongue smacks and lashes against your brains….tongue… smack…your brains out. They will soon be out, if not disciplined to withstand their excitement.

No, get your hands away from that bread! There’s rice in there! That’s all the grain you get and you can throw a fit if that helps with it.

You could feed four if you halved them and served them face down with a little extra sauce and cheeses!

I’m sure you will figure it out.

If not, dinner may be ruined…


You will just simply, not be having stuffed peppers!

You will have created something brand new and adventurous!

Why don’t you give it a name?

Cute little rascal… I think I’ll name you…”Nice Rice”!!!

If you fuck THAT up, we can name the mutant aftermath, “dirty rice” by Fartfist

Published by Fartfist

I am personally a personal personality for a personable person using this persona.

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