Fandangled An’ Bline

“Lemme tell ya somthin’”

“I know ya thinkin’ ya knowin’ buh’cha don’t!”

“Yer mammy done tol’ja da gloob tube is gonna rot yer brains, well she ain’t wrong but ya know theres more den ‘at!”

“Ya done shove ya head inna dem books an’ alls gonna get’cha swallerd up the same!”

“Outta be out bustin’ a knee er figurin it out!”

“I tell ya dem books and dat soft behine uh yers is got whuts comin’!”

“Whiles ya ass is goin’ out, ya brains is getting’ ideas ya got no use fer!”

“Yoo sure love bein’ smart and ya can’t know when ya are!”

“Ya eyes is all strainin’ and yer heads inna fluffy nowheres.”

“Suuure ya gots plenny ‘maginations, buh’cha ain got no sense er ‘sperience.”

“Yer inna clouds and uppa creek!”

“Do a thing! Almighty!”

“By the blessins uh five fingers, ya lazy chile.”

“Get yer ‘maginations anywheres ya brains go wit’cha!”

“Ya got more time in dat werl’a yers den ya spen’ in dissun!”

“Dem books is gonna steal ya soul, frien’!”

“Dem words is all squat, if’a yoo ain got ‘sperience chile.”

“All duh gloob tubin’ an’a page turnins got’cha all fandangled an’ bline!”

“Till ya go bline!”

“Ya might jus be on wiff tootin on’a fiddle er strangin’ uh whisle!”

“Ya gunna be wise’uh come offa dat an’ learn ya somthin’.”

“Dem thangs ain doin nuttin buh fillin’ ya head fulla nuttin buh mess ya say, buh’cha don’ know!”

“Yer gunna hafta put’cha hanns on somthin! Ya gotta get inna shit!”

“Ya gotta buss ya tail, an’ learn somthin’ by doin’ da damn ol’ thang!”

“Gunna hafta stay all day workin’ an’ rinse ya brains, like ya do inna night time, an’ sleepin’ fer.”

“Save ya words n turds fer ya. Getta new look.”

“Spen’ all ya time lookin’a dat mess, ya wine up deader on ya feet dan inna grave chile!”

“Runnin’ round yappin’ things ya don’t know an’ striin’ upa fuss.”

“Lookin’ like’a ninny wiff ya words an’ no real iron.”

“Ya gunna get took!”

“Wiff all ya pride in ya self an’ what’cha knowin’, jes ain got none to show fer, cuz ya ain earn ya none!”

“Ya lookin’ like’a mark.”

 “Like’a dang ol’ toot blusterin’ fool, got all da checks lined up, an’ none yoo kin take inna bank!”

“ Take ya face away from dat paper, get’cher paws offa dat clicker!”

“Stop jumpin’ in dat werl’a yers wiff at talker ya got wiff ya erywhere.”

“Dat thang is gotcha good n tight!”

“Ya lookin’ so happy, all slavin’ to a piece’a plastic.”

“Whad’ya thank? Yoo’s gunna be doin’ that thangs biddin’ all yer life?”

“Ya do, an’ ya wouldn’t know when ya did!”

“Yer life ain’n dat there box an’ it fer dang sure ain’n dat book!”

“Dats somebuddy elses life ya lookin’ at dare!”

“Doze somebuddy elses ‘speriences, ya know dat!?”

“Ya jes gotta know, don’cha?”

“Cuz if ya wanna know, ya never find it in that eye popper, chile.”

“Yoo thank dem fancy writers jus all da sudden jes made dem words on that thang!?”

“Days tellin’ ya ta read, cuz theys sellin’ words, ya bline sumbuddy!”

“Days had ta trip, fell down, if’n theys gonna tell ya it hurt!”

“Ya gotta go trip, an’ fall down chile!”

“Den ya gots somthin’a write ‘bout.”

“Go get’cha real job, ya lazy stankin’ infant! Readin’ writin’s work ya ain ready t’do neither!”

“Dat dang book and doze dang cellulabobbers are fer da ones is okay bein’ runned.”

“Fer da ones is ready, kin handle more cuz day gots more.”

“Yoo ain ready die so soon is ya!?”

“Den whut inna name’a flagnabbery are ya doin’ den!?”

“Go’n! Get’cha some tales uh yer own now!”

“GIT!”

“Go on! GIT!”

“Like, like’a say…like’a say…rot yer damned ol’ brain, outta da back’a yo head!”

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